Okay, okay...I'll try it

So, I've been "reluctant" (at best) to write here about the infertility journey that I read from so many other bloggers. I enjoy reading theirs, so really there is only one explanation for my silence: my husband.

Yes, we can always blame them, can't we?

C didn't tell his family what we were doing. When asked why I took a semester off from work, he didn't tell them that we were trying to adopt a child or that, when that failed, we started trying fertility treatments. He claims he didn't want anyone asking for updates. I stayed out of it. Agreed that we just missed each other and wanted to live together again (enough to sell a house at an incredible loss and give up a job that I loved).

Not that I didn't miss him. I did.

But now the truth is out there. One has to explain in more detail when they return to that job six months later and rent an apartment.

It's too late to go back now and rehash the whole process. Most of my readers heard it from my mouth anyway. But, here I am, day 10 post embryo transfer, and all I want to do is go pee on the stick.

But, you see, if I did it, the results would be unreliable. Even if it said YES (BFP -- Big Fat Positive), it could mean NO (BFN -- Big Fat Negative). Or vice versa. So, my Beta (blood test to check for HCG hormones in my blood) is Friday. Doctor says I could do a reliable pee test that day. That seems to be 48 hours away.

I went to CVS and bought a three pack last night.



They are in the cabinet.

Rational thinking says leave them be.

Passion says try it...WTF.

Blogging postponed making a decision.

I'll keep you updated.