Asheville Update

Went to Asheville yesterday and had a precious 24 hours with M & ME. ME is deteriorating, but she had lucid moments several times while I was there. I was able to meet their Hospice social worker and nurse, both of which assured me (and her) that everything that can be done to ease her end of life is being done.

When she was not lucid, she was like a sweet, charming child struggling to find the words to say what she was feeling. I never saw even a hint of anger or meanness. I thought of Ani's song "Back, Back, Back" and the lines:

Who are these old old people
In these nursing homes
Scowling away at nothing
Like big rag dolls just cursing at the walls
And pulling out all of their stuffing
Every day is a door leading back to the core
Yes, old age will distill you
And if you’re this this this full of bitterness now
Some day it will just fill you

Considering the life she has survived, it is amazing: ME has no bitterness at all. M and I were able to discuss the continuing generosity of her spirit, even as her body and mind fail. It was quite moving, and it made me really think about myself and how I've chosen to live.

The best moment of our visit was a clear moment in which I asked ME if C and I can use her "middle" name, E, for our daughter. She wiped away tears with her wonderfully old, yet childlike, hands. She said, "It would be an honor." But, I'm quite sure, all of the honors have been mine.