Yes, Virginia, there is...

a baby.

When Phoenix jumped out of bed at 5:00 this morning and asked me to break his fast, my rationale must have been a little weakened.

So before I dug his drumstick from the refrigerator, I peed on the stick (see yesterday's post for more on that struggle).

Now, you have to understand, I have to take another one tomorrow. But this one said:



So, for the very first time in my entire 39 years of life, the little test said yes. Even when we had the "chemical pregnancy," the at home test did not show pregnancy. So this is it, I thought. This is what that feels like.

And what that feels like is:
Excitement
Hopeful that I can hang on to the little critter for at least 30 more weeks
Scared that I can't hang on to the little critter for at least 30 more weeks
Nauseous
Scared to death
Panicked to buy diapers and a crib
Sure that 9 months is PLENTY of time to read everything ever written on babies
Wishing my husband lived in the same house
Hoping that it is just one little critter
Frantic to find the perfect names
Counting months on my fingers
Panicked that I'll never be able to read everything that should be read in time
Hoping like hell that the stick still says PREGNANT tomorrow.

That's only the beginning.

So much more to come.