making strange noises of embarrassment
I can't get any work done today. I try. I look at the open file that says "chapter four" and the mere seven pages it contains, and I know I've got to write more. But today I don't care about women's poetry or the performances therein.
Today, I don't know what to care about. I just posted to Aunt B's blog, andI feel certain, in retrospect, that I misunderstood. Sarcasm, irony, and facetiousness are sometimes difficult to discern on paper/screens. Anyway. I can't figure out any way to grab my post back. It is already out there.
This reminds me of Jebbo's post and the Middle East. Once the bomb is launched, you can't get it back; you can't bring back the dead. We can't undo the mess we've made in Iraq. I can't undo the highly academic tone in which I wrote my first three chapters of my dissertation to come back to a performance that actually does what I claim to be pointing out in the work of other people.
Sometimes we just have to live with our mistakes. Actually, I live with so many that I can no longer keep up. The other day I told someone an actor's name after mistaking him for another actor on the same show. We had a long conversation about whether he was the sibling of some other actor. Wrong name. Wrong guy.
How often is my information wrong (given or received)? This is particularly painful as one who teaches. I'm sure that I am constantly passing on false information. What scares me more is that I probably don't even know that most of it is false. Jeezzz!
So, I vow to keep my mouth shut for a few days. I will listen to what others say and keep in mind that maybe it is not "true." Whatever that means. Maybe if I learn to accept it from others, I won't be so damn hard on myself.
posted by perrykat at
2:23 PM
5 Comments:
How very cool ... I read that Aunt B. post and didn't even connect the "Katherine" ... I thought and still think it was spot on for tone, if that helps any.
This is one thing I like about our new dynamic world. Think Wikipedia... people say "but isn't it going to be wrong sometimes?" and the answer is "of course, but it's wrong to think that everything isn't wrong sometimes. The point isn't always being right, the point is doing your best, putting yourself out there as honestly and humbly as you can, and being open and willing to work on fixing things."
In fact, I'd even hazard a guess that what makes jazz trumpet so attractive is that you never quite know what note is right, if something is a mistake or an intentional wandering away. I think improvisation is the hardest thing to do in any art.
And as a teacher, I'd say that teaching the skills of critical thinking, asking if something is right, including what you get from your teachers (or your news media) is fair ... that's the skill. Researching, judging, and always trying to adjust to a truth that slowly (always slowly) reveals itself.
Jebbo,
Don't you love Tiny Cat Pants? What a dynamic blog. Nashville seems to really have a "scene." Anyway. You are right, of course, about critical thinking.
Learning to accept the slow... yes, yes.
And until then, I'll try to be easy on myself so as not to cause too much bruising. :)
I've been trying to find the Houston scene, with no luck.
Considering going to Foley today, not decided yet (again forgot to pack and didn't get in early).
You headed that way any time soon?
mmm -- haven't planned to...going down there makes my face break out. :)
But I'll have to go sometime.
if you start to break out just stay on I-10 another 7 hours.
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