Wednesday, December 19, 2007

roots of bah-humbug

Are there really adults who like Christmas? Really?

I mean, I understand it for children, and maybe the parents of those children, who believe in Santa Claus. Especially those families that can actually afford to buy the gifts that their children ask for.

But I wasn't very old when I noticed that Santa's handwriting looked like my dad's handwriting. And that, I thought, explained why Santa didn't ever bring the exact present I wanted. And I was still pre-teen when I realized I couldn't buy the gifts that I wanted to give because money was needed to buy such gifts.

It would be several more years before my parents separated and my father would come over on Christmas morning so that we could be with him too. That was awkward. Then when they divorced, I had to split myself into two "Christmas morning" celebrations: one at mom's and one at dad's.

If you take all of that, and add a marriage, in-laws, extended families, the loss of my religion, and the general static of Christmas, it is no wonder that I am not a fan of the holiday. Yet I do wonder, how is it so different from, say, Easter. Why do I feel a pressure to celebrate it?

Here are a few things I am telling myself this year:
1) I am extremely weather affected. Two days from today is the shortest day of the year. Darkness at 5:00 pm is not easy for me. Neither is the 30-40 degree temperature.

2) It is nice to have things. But money is a burden, whether you have it or not. Having lived in both the have and have not, I can agree that a holiday so firmly rooted in consumption and spending money is bound to cause me to be a little upset.

3)And I found this little nugget on a website called Wing of Madness:

It's that everyone you know (and even strangers and TV commercials) is telling you how much you should be enjoying this time of year. Even if they're at the end of their rope trying to get everything done, they will be telling you what a downer you're being. You know you should be happy and having fun. No one has to tell you. But they do anyway, and you just want to slug them and burst out crying at the same time. Yes, they "mean well." But they're not making things any easier for you.


The good news is I'm not depressed. I just don't like Christmas. I do wonder how many people excuse their dis-like for a holiday that we are expected to love with the word "depression." Not that there aren't real people with real depression at Christmas. I just think that even though I'm not depressed, I will still give myself permission to:

1) not put up a tree and lights
2) buy all gift cards rather than gifts
3) skip the family get together
4) celebrate my own birthday instead of Jesus's

Bah Humbug One and All! :)

1 Comments:

Blogger Jebbo said...

Interesting, though not surprising.

I love Christmas, though mostly in a nostalgic way. And the odd thing is, I still feel the same way about Christmas (more or less), while everyone else does not. So to the extent my enjoyment is diminished, it is in the sense that nobody takes it "seriously" (for lack of a better word) anymore.

Some feel a pressure to join in and be cheerful.

Some feel a pressure to be more (?) sophisticated.

I wonder how much of it has to do with what Christmas meant to people growing up, and how much to what else happens along the way.

5:43 PM  

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