Life is Hard
I think of myself as a masochist. It isn't that I love pain, but it seems that much of the stuff in life that I enjoy is difficult: hot yoga (with Jenny), hiking mountains, graduate school, teaching, parenting, even travel.
It isn't easy to jump on a plane and stay on the other side of the world for a week or two: language barriers, food differences, generally not knowing where the hell I am. But, that is what I love. I've never been able to understand people who go to the same beach resort year after year for their vacations. They sit on the sand and read. It looks so peaceful and relaxing, but I think, I would be bored to death.
So, I've been thinking about that. About what that says or means about me. Many of my friends say flattering things about my life choices; they seem to think that I do things that other people don't do.
I've been thinking about that too.
When I was a child (and even as a very small child), my father used to say that I had go-itis. I needed to be on the move. I didn't actually have to be traveling by plane, but I wanted to be outside exploring the woods or helping him build me a sand box. I wanted to go to the grocery store because I liked to look and touch all of the options that the world had to offer me. Even now, I want to try every dish when I go to a restaurant with friends (this makes me annoying to C, I think, because I always dip into his dishes). So, maybe I'm just built this way.
Zi, I am happy to say, is just like me. If she is cranky, put her in the car and take her to the store or put her in the stroller and take her for a walk. She just wants to see something other than these same four walls.
The problem for me -- and I assume this will be a problem for Zi as she continues to grow -- is that life is also full of monotony. We have to drive the same roads back and forth to work. We have to clean the same sink day after day. And, when we like to do new things, we have to work harder and harder as we get older to find the new things to try. We have to travel farther and farther to see something we haven't seen yet. It makes contentment a hard thing to find.
As I was driving that same path just yesterday, the thought went through my head: Life is Hard. I was tired, needing to get Peanut out of her crate, behind on my paper grading, and going to pick up Zi for the "witching/cocktail hour" (not my favorite time of day to be a parent). And when I thought that, I also thought, thank goodness. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It isn't easy to jump on a plane and stay on the other side of the world for a week or two: language barriers, food differences, generally not knowing where the hell I am. But, that is what I love. I've never been able to understand people who go to the same beach resort year after year for their vacations. They sit on the sand and read. It looks so peaceful and relaxing, but I think, I would be bored to death.
So, I've been thinking about that. About what that says or means about me. Many of my friends say flattering things about my life choices; they seem to think that I do things that other people don't do.
I've been thinking about that too.
When I was a child (and even as a very small child), my father used to say that I had go-itis. I needed to be on the move. I didn't actually have to be traveling by plane, but I wanted to be outside exploring the woods or helping him build me a sand box. I wanted to go to the grocery store because I liked to look and touch all of the options that the world had to offer me. Even now, I want to try every dish when I go to a restaurant with friends (this makes me annoying to C, I think, because I always dip into his dishes). So, maybe I'm just built this way.
Zi, I am happy to say, is just like me. If she is cranky, put her in the car and take her to the store or put her in the stroller and take her for a walk. She just wants to see something other than these same four walls.
The problem for me -- and I assume this will be a problem for Zi as she continues to grow -- is that life is also full of monotony. We have to drive the same roads back and forth to work. We have to clean the same sink day after day. And, when we like to do new things, we have to work harder and harder as we get older to find the new things to try. We have to travel farther and farther to see something we haven't seen yet. It makes contentment a hard thing to find.
As I was driving that same path just yesterday, the thought went through my head: Life is Hard. I was tired, needing to get Peanut out of her crate, behind on my paper grading, and going to pick up Zi for the "witching/cocktail hour" (not my favorite time of day to be a parent). And when I thought that, I also thought, thank goodness. I wouldn't want it any other way.
posted by perrykat at
3:16 PM
1 Comments:
I have always felt the same... I wanted to take the different road... not the 'safe and straight' road, I wanted to take the 'crooked and not knowing what is around the corner road'... though we go to the same hotel when we go to Vegas once a year... I love it cause though it is central (and cheap) we would head off to California, Utah or somewhere as interesting. Though we are heading to the same place in Colorado again - we will head off to somewhere different... yep, life is hard times :) hugs to Miss Zi
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