Trying to lose my own neuroses...

...while parenting, sometimes makes me laugh at myself.  It is either laugh or make another appointment with my therapist.

So, because my child is Velcro right now (and I'm that easy-to-cling-to stuff), I took her with me to the bathroom this morning.  To keep her entertained while I did my business, I pulled out two Rolling Stone magazines and handed one to her while I looked through the other.  Nice photographs of Robert Downey, Jr., I was thinking when she reached up and started looking at mine instead of hers.  Now, probably because of the thoughts I was having, I thought, wait a minute, I shouldn't be letting her look at Rolling Stone!

Then I had to stop myself.  I'm proud that all of the televisions in our house have been off when she is awake, that I stay away from the computer when she's with me, and that I trying hard to watch my language around her (I'm not always successful on this one).  But, really?  Isn't this thought about a magazine going too far?  She can't enjoy a photograph of Robert Downey, Jr. too?  I don't want to "put her in a bubble" (this is Charles' metaphor for 90% of the currently in-vogue parenting where people all but wrap their children in bubble wrap to protect them from EVERYTHING).  I want her to explore her world.  The REAL world.

Yet, when Charles let her play on the stairs this weekend, I must admit, I was very upset.  It seems too easy for him when he only keeps her alone a few hours (tops) alone each day to "play" on the stairs while I'm alone with her all day, and I don't really want her to see the stairs as "fun" just yet.  But, isn't this reaction, just like the one with the Rolling Stone a bit over-dramatic?

I think so.  I am trying to relax because I really don't want to raise a neurotic child.  I want her to enjoy exploring and all that exploring includes (and that means quite a few falls, downs on the other side of every up, and, I hope, less fear of the world --or at least realistic fears instead of supercharged fears).  I'm not worried about germs, and I watch the horrified looks on the faces around me when I pick up her washcloths from the floor and let her put them in her mouth.  The world is a dirty place.  She lives in the world.

But I watch and listen to other parents (in Babies R Us, on Facebook, wherever I run into them), and I think that I HAVE to lighten up.  I don't want to raise THAT kind of child.  So what if she thinks Downey is hot?  I do.  So what if she wants to play on the stairs (well, I'll try to keep that from happening a few more years--I mean, she isn't even walking yet), I did when I was little.  So what if a toy from the floor goes into her mouth.  She will build anti-bodies.

But, it isn't always easy.  My initial reactions are sometimes strong and go against this philosophy.  And, really, when it gets down to the heart of this question, I'll bet she didn't even notice Downey at all.  I'll bet she thought...what a pretty blue color on his shirt.