Figuring out how to do this parenting thing

Well, like I said yesterday, Zi had a little bit of a fever, probably
from the vaccinations. That really just made her a little cranky and
tired, so we elected to skip our shopping trip and let her rest most
of the day. So, she took about four naps and still went to bed at
8:00 pm (which is supposedly an hour earlier than she was getting to
bed at the orphanage).

I tell that again because I think being a little bit sick also made
her a little more sensitive. And I'm pretty sure that she is
grieving. Now, all the literature says that she should/needs to
grieve. Grieving the loss of her nannies now means a little less
grieving later (at 14 when she hates me for other reasons). So, we
want her to grieve, even though it is painful to watch our baby cry
for something that we can't give her. Charles and I agreed to keep
reminding each other that her grieving means that she bonded with her
caretakers, and having formed bonds already makes it easier for her to
form bonds with us ... she already knows how. And, we reminded each
other of that several times yesterday.

When she is crying, she wants to be held with us standing. And
remember, she weighs almost 20 pounds, and I haven't been caring her
since she weighed 8 pounds, so my arms are weak but being whipped into
shape quickly.

All of that is to say that I went to sleep when she did last night
(with no dinner) and FINALLY slept through the night until 5:00 am
(now). I'm the one who hasn't been sleeping through the night (she
sleeps fine)! I hope that getting a nice long sleep will help me
fight off the rest of this cold. Being sick, tired, on the wrong time
zone, and generally pretty unsure of everything I'm doing makes for a
long day when Zi is not feeling well. I really don't know how single
parents do this. (Well, I think most of the ones adopting bring
someone with them to help, which was highly recommended, and I now see
why). Charles is an amazing parent. We both have our limits, and we
are trying hard to give each other rests when we need them. I can't
quite say that I'm figuring it all out, but slowly, with a lot of
trial and error, we seem to be making steps in that direction.

Yesterday afternoon we took her on a long walk around the island. For
those of you who don't know, our hotel, The White Swan, is on Shamian
Island, which is a little island surrounded by the Pearl River in
Guangzhou. The American Consulate is on this island and it is full of
adoptive parents and their babies. I'll talk more about the island
later...there is a lot to say there, but I want to shower before Zi
gets up at 6:00.

Here are a few shots from our walk yesterday. She loves the Baby Bjorn.