Do you ever wonder...?
I met a woman and her 10 year old son yesterday who made me question myself. The boy was one of the most present and sweet-natured people I have ever met. Watching him interact with his mother made me realize that he is this way (mostly) because she is. They were the kind of people that made me want to be a better person.
But, I turn 41 on Friday, and I'm not exactly sure that it possible to "become" this kind of person. There are two problems that I see: first, I am grumpy, grouchy, and generally mean natured. Second, I've been this way so long, I am afraid that if it is possible at all to change one's personality (and, I'm not exactly sure that it is 100% up to me), that I've missed the deadline.
Yet, this child was amazing. I would love to raise children who have this kind of open, caring outlook. He had no sense of entitlement, he could hold and entire conversation with me (an adult) without getting bored or radiating the feeling that he was just humoring me, he went straight to Zi and picked her up with a huge bear hug without being asked or prompted (and she adored him), he helped his mother willingly, and when I told him he was really sweet, he said, with honest surprise, "You know, I have lots of people tell me that."
Life, by whatever means you choose to believe, is always throwing lessons at me. Charles was with me, and when these two people drove away, we were both sure that we need to be better people. We wished that we could give them all of the Christmas presents we have to give to ourselves and others. We wished that some of their light would stick to us. We wished for the mother's patience. We wondered how in the world two grumpy bumps like us could ever change.
Today, I still wonder.
But, I turn 41 on Friday, and I'm not exactly sure that it possible to "become" this kind of person. There are two problems that I see: first, I am grumpy, grouchy, and generally mean natured. Second, I've been this way so long, I am afraid that if it is possible at all to change one's personality (and, I'm not exactly sure that it is 100% up to me), that I've missed the deadline.
Yet, this child was amazing. I would love to raise children who have this kind of open, caring outlook. He had no sense of entitlement, he could hold and entire conversation with me (an adult) without getting bored or radiating the feeling that he was just humoring me, he went straight to Zi and picked her up with a huge bear hug without being asked or prompted (and she adored him), he helped his mother willingly, and when I told him he was really sweet, he said, with honest surprise, "You know, I have lots of people tell me that."
Life, by whatever means you choose to believe, is always throwing lessons at me. Charles was with me, and when these two people drove away, we were both sure that we need to be better people. We wished that we could give them all of the Christmas presents we have to give to ourselves and others. We wished that some of their light would stick to us. We wished for the mother's patience. We wondered how in the world two grumpy bumps like us could ever change.
Today, I still wonder.
posted by perrykat at
7:49 AM
3 Comments:
I personally think you are a great person just the way you are... it doesn't matter what you do - I don't want you to change then you wouldn't be the Katherine we all know and love but can understand what you mean... we have been teaching Shauna to say 'Thank you' and now she says 'Your Welcome' after someone says thank you... sorry I forgot your birthday... hugs...
Children help. They make you a better person and hopefully you do the same for them.
The worst thing is that if you are a democrat and an Auburn fan, your children might be :)
War Eagle
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