depression
When you live day in and day out with mental illness (whatever that means), depression is sometimes expected. Yet sometimes when it comes, I don't know what to do with it.
Yesterday and today it sits with me like a silent younger sibling watching and waiting for the moment she can take over the conversations, take over the activities, and/or just plain take over. I let my class go 30 minutes early today because I just didn't have the will to teach. I keep looking at the dirty counter thinking I should clean it up. I think the bed feels pretty darn good and that I should stay here for a while.
It could be that I drank more than I usually do this weekend; as I get older drinking does tend to depress me. It could be that these two days are sandwiched between having friends here for the weekend and going to Asheville tomorrow. It could be that the moon is waning. It could be that depression is part of the life cycle and I should stop trying to attribute it to some cause.
Whatever the reason, I don't much feel like a happy girl today. I don't much like much of my life, many of my life choices, or most of my habits. One positive? Yes, I've lived long enough to know that I'll feel better soon.
Yesterday and today it sits with me like a silent younger sibling watching and waiting for the moment she can take over the conversations, take over the activities, and/or just plain take over. I let my class go 30 minutes early today because I just didn't have the will to teach. I keep looking at the dirty counter thinking I should clean it up. I think the bed feels pretty darn good and that I should stay here for a while.
It could be that I drank more than I usually do this weekend; as I get older drinking does tend to depress me. It could be that these two days are sandwiched between having friends here for the weekend and going to Asheville tomorrow. It could be that the moon is waning. It could be that depression is part of the life cycle and I should stop trying to attribute it to some cause.
Whatever the reason, I don't much feel like a happy girl today. I don't much like much of my life, many of my life choices, or most of my habits. One positive? Yes, I've lived long enough to know that I'll feel better soon.
posted by perrykat at
4:10 PM
2 Comments:
looking
Another positive: you've given me no excuse not to write something myself. Sounds like you are drinking the same wine. Don't bother cleaning up, I've got some glasses and a story over at mine.
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