Silence

I've always been terrified and fascinated with silence. It is both exhilarating and demoralizing. Sometimes I love letting a class sit quietly thinking, sometimes their silence unnerves me.

Living alone leaves lots of moments silent that might otherwise been filled with conversation. I talk to the dog a lot.

I've been silent on the blog too. There are lists of reasons for them. None of the reasons are adequate.

Here is what I am feeling:

When I look back, my life seems to be a series of choices. I never knew when I was making the choices all of the information I needed. As I sit alone, silent, I am only certain of one thing: uncertainty.

I get up, I move, I breathe. I listen to the walls as they pop and creak. The dog is warm at my side.

I sleep. I dream.

I don't know much more than that. I imagine that I am not alone.