Who I'm Not

I do not have a gift closet. I do not have a card calendar. If it weren't for my wonderful Uncle, I wouldn't know most of my family's birthdays * and if you are on my maternal side or are a friend, this is why I don't know yours -- my Uncle didn't put it on the calendar for me. I rarely write thank you notes.

But I have friends and family who send me cards on appropriate holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays. I even have friends who send wonderful cards for the hell of it. I received such a card today (thank you, you).

I've always wanted to be someone who did these things: buy gifts when you see something that you think another would like. Hang on to it (in the gift closet) until the appropriate day (and I would know those days), and mail it so that it arrives on time.

Thank you to my friends who send me cards and gifts and phone me just to talk.

At my age, I should accept the things I cannot change. I know, I know. But I often wonder if it is really too much to ask of myself: to be this dream person.

It must be.