I'm really not complaining...
I'm not, I love every moment with my daughter. But there are some things that I've noticed that bother me. Mostly, those things boil down to the difference between what people tell you and reality. Let's start with this one:
Okay, so I can't really take a "crap" (I'm cleaning this up for the web version) when she does, now can I? And, when does she have a glass of wine, or blog, or wash clothes, or do yoga, or work, or write, or check her email, or ... you get the idea. If it is okay with me that my life be reduced to the life of an eleven-month old, then this advice is fine. But, if I choose that life, someone will have to come take care of me too. So, STOP TELLING ME THIS. It just doesn't quite work that way.
Really? What world do you live in? You are only correct in one way: no one actually says anything, that's the way racism works in the South. But people look and look again. They want to say something (even if it is just to comment positively) and that is different from the reactions of people to children who look like their parents. Now, I'm not suggesting that we aren't a conspicuous family now, in fact, I'm suggesting that we are conspicuous and to tell me that no one notices is ridiculous. She is Asian, I am white. We look different from other families. People DO notice. Sometimes they even say things about it. And as she grows up, people will say things TO HER about it. They will call her names, they will shun her, make fun of her, and sometimes favor her for it. To pretend otherwise is to bury our heads in the sand.
On the other hand, there is this. And OH, how I love this:
Do things when she does them: eat when she eats, sleep when she sleeps, ...
Okay, so I can't really take a "crap" (I'm cleaning this up for the web version) when she does, now can I? And, when does she have a glass of wine, or blog, or wash clothes, or do yoga, or work, or write, or check her email, or ... you get the idea. If it is okay with me that my life be reduced to the life of an eleven-month old, then this advice is fine. But, if I choose that life, someone will have to come take care of me too. So, STOP TELLING ME THIS. It just doesn't quite work that way.
This is 2010, no one will even notice that she's Asian and you're not.
Really? What world do you live in? You are only correct in one way: no one actually says anything, that's the way racism works in the South. But people look and look again. They want to say something (even if it is just to comment positively) and that is different from the reactions of people to children who look like their parents. Now, I'm not suggesting that we aren't a conspicuous family now, in fact, I'm suggesting that we are conspicuous and to tell me that no one notices is ridiculous. She is Asian, I am white. We look different from other families. People DO notice. Sometimes they even say things about it. And as she grows up, people will say things TO HER about it. They will call her names, they will shun her, make fun of her, and sometimes favor her for it. To pretend otherwise is to bury our heads in the sand.
On the other hand, there is this. And OH, how I love this:
Labels: Zi Song
posted by perrykat at
8:06 PM
2 Comments:
Loving little Zi :) Hey, share a wine with her... lol
We don't get comments about Shauna being 'Asian' - though alot of people say she is SO cute... and I say 'yep, she is'... the only time we did get the whole Asian thing is when the mother of 14 yr old twins - adopted from China wanted to say hi... that was fine with me and to have a chat with the girls and how they felt about things, how they still get called 'chink', 'slant' etc and that others wish they were Asian so they can be smart too... oh that one truly bugs me... you know... I tried to look at Shauna the other day and see the 'Asian' in her... funny thing... I can't... I see the most funniest, sweetest, gorgeous little girl... I am not sticking my head in the sand, yeah, it is there - that is what they are (duh) but I just see my baby... just like I see your baby... as a sweet darlin'... does this make sense??? Hope so...
Yes, Fliss, it does make sense, and I don't think you have your head in the sand. It is usually a particularly unaware person that says something like this.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home