Some thoughts on race

C left a little while ago to attend a scholarship meeting at Zi’s school.  They are working with the state of Georgia to offer non-need based scholarships (more details to come).  When we were discussing it, I said that I thought Zi had a good chance of getting such a scholarship because she is Asian.  That started me thinking about race.

I believe in affirmative action.  I believe that until we address the wrongs from the past (in financial, emotional, political, and social ways), we will continue to have divides in our society.  I also think that the divides between classes are just as detrimental as the divides between races.

So, after C left, I started to examine how I feel about Zi getting “advantages” in areas such as scholarships.  After all, if affirmative action is in place to help correct the long historical disadvantages people of color have faced, should Zi qualify for them?  

C and I read an article this week that reported on some of the latest studies about the nurture/nature debate.  This study looked at almost 1000 sets of twins ages 3 and under and found that for lower-income children, nurture factors (education levels, home environment, value systems, etc) were far more important to child “success” than genetics.  So, if you have a poor family that stresses education, that nurturing far out ways genetic factors.  However, for higher income families, genetics is the major determining factor.  How can this be?  Well, the study showed that kids from wealthy families have all of the advantages (they have books in the home, quality childcare, parents who worry about which instrument their kid should play (not if they play one)) and therefore, the only thing that holds them back is their ability levels. 

Now, supposing this theory is true, Zi will fall into the second category.  The only thing that will hold her back will be her ability level.  This will also be true of baby X soon to come.  Why should Zi get additional advantages, then?

Well, I started to think about what her life will be like.  While she will have all the advantages of having white, wealthy parents, she will also have to live in the body of an Asian-American woman.  She will be stereotyped, judged, and probably treated very differently because of how she looks.  Is this enough to justify our accepting advantages for her?  I don’t know. 

On Pregnancy (post 1)

Well, now that I'm almost 17 weeks pregnant, I guess I have to face the reality of being pregnant and talk about it a little bit.

I parked in the "Expectant Mothers" parking place at Whole Foods today (right down front, next to the handicapped space), and I must say that it was nice.  I had the carpets cleaned yesterday and made C move all of the furniture back into place without lifting a finger to help.  That was nice too.

But, in general, I don't much care for pregnancy.  Being sick for the first 12 weeks didn't help much.  But now I'm not sick (well, most of the time...I did toss my WATER yesterday morning...how annoying), and I keep waiting for the "burst of energy" that so many people keep telling me about.  It hasn't shown up yet.  Now, I do realize that being pregnant at 41 probably makes most of what is "annoying" to most people painful for me, but I also think that I've always been sensitive to hormone and chemical changes in my body, so this set of changes is bound to be upsetting me.  :)

Here's what I don't like.  My legs hurt and I already can't wear any cute shoes.  I'm tired most of the time.  Okay, I'm tired all of the time.  I have to cut out my tequila.  I have to modify my yoga poses (and sometimes in the first trimester, I had to skip it all together for fear of vomiting on the teacher).  I can't breathe properly.  My back doesn't like me to hold Zi for more than about 5 or 10 minutes at a time.  I'm more grouchy than normal.  And I've gained 11 pounds already.

Now this last one is the most interesting (in terms of self analyzing).  I have a REAL problem with getting fat.  My clothes do not fit, my body is already straining under the extra weight, and, if I'm honest, I just don't want to be fat.  I know that I've not been a skinny person for nearly 25 years, but being really big is something that is bothering me.  I have to really look closely at my own ideas about my body.  What is it that is SO upsetting?  Is it the loss of a "sexually attractive" hour glass shape?  Is it the bodily connection that pregnancy has with motherhood (will I now be DEFINED as a mother)?  I don't know, but I will be interested to see how I handle the next 5 months.

On the other hand, I love eating.  So, there is that.  I had a half dozen cookies today, so hey, what am I complaining about?

:)

In general, I'm doing well.  I just don't really like the feeling of being highjacked -- especially by a little boy!  :)

I think too, that because I'm not 15 or 25 or 35, this will (naturally) be harder on my body.  So, I just have to suck it up and play the hand that was dealt.  I'm trying to do that (believe it or not, that is one of the things that "blogging" helps me do -- DEAL with it).  But, there is a reason that we are not fertile until we are 60.

I'm thinking a lot about names.  I haven't settled on any yet.  Here are a couple of pics of the big sister to be: